Hey y’all. I posted something on my main insta account today that I didn’t wake up expecting to post, but due to a cascading series of events, I made a choice and it’s out there. And I don’t regret it, but I realize it may be jarring for some.
So what happened? A lot of things, but the main one was that I entered this space as (and still am to this day) a Black woman, and there are a lot of things I see from evangelicalism recreating themselves within deconstruction, including the deification of people with platforms, the fear of questioning “leaders” and the dismissal/diminishing of marginalized voices. With this person, over the past 9 months or so there have been a few different instances where they have tweeted things that have bothered different members of the Black community leading to antagonistic exchanges and them being blocked by different blocks of Black folks. I have mostly observed and occasionally commented as my discomfort with it all has grown. I am not big on giving unsolicited advice or trying to save people who don’t want to be saved, so I never personally reached out to them re: the previous incidents, because they never reached out to me and the way I think about it, if I was making continual missteps with a community, I would reach out to friends within that community to help me find clarity. But they have carried on unapologetically as the term anti-Black has been used more and more in reference to them. And sadly, I don’t disagree.
This past weekend ended up being a breaking point. The Jamie Foxx “THEY” incident was a sensitive topic fraught with cultural tensions between two cultures that this person is not a part of and yet they not only inserted themself, they claimed the right to hold a Black man accountable based on their “expertise” and it was bullshit. Bullshit that dove headfirst into anti-Blackness when Black women (including myself) tried to offer our perspective only to be told we didn’t know what we were talking about because our culture is steeped in Christian hegemony which is automatically antisemitic. It was frustrating, it was hurtful and it was pointless going back and forth with them as they wouldn’t stay on one course of conversation and kept shifting the narrative, so I quit and left it alone. Only to be smacked in the face by their tweet this morning.
It feels dramatic to say this person has been hurting the Black community because, frankly, they’re not that important, but they have been consistently dismissive, condescending and just plain annoying. And in case anyone is paying attention, as they claim to be listening to multiple Black folks in their real life (they’re not) I don’t want anyone, especially other Black folks, thinking I’m a voice condoning the foolishness. I am not. Being an ally is not a permanent achievement and it’s not something we can decide we are in defiance of a community saying otherwise. I don’t speak for all Black people and this person doesn’t speak for any, their “expertise” will NEVER matter more than my experience and this isn’t just a me thing and it isn’t just this one incident. (I would tell you to go look at the comments from this past weekend, but they deleted it all earlier today.)
This person has had good things to say and has been helpful to many people (myself included) at different points, but the cost of admission to their perspective has become too high for me. So I have unfollowed and I look forward to forgetting their Instagram persona. This is something that I had to do for me, that has nothing to do with you. If their platform is still helpful to you – awesome! Go with God (and them), but I would caution you against and ask you not to let their voice be a primary influence when it comes to anything involving Black culture and/or the Black community.
And please don’t worry about or wish for “reconciliation” – it’s really not necessary. The online deconstruction community and real life are two different worlds and I love the places where they organically and enjoyably overlap, but there is no upside for me in trying to reconcile with anti-Blackness. If I’m wrong and they knows more about Black people than I do, oh well, chalk it up to the game and hopefully I’ll make better choices next time. 🤷🏽♀️
But for now… that’s where I’m at. Feel free to ask any questions, share any thoughts, cuss me out, unfollow – whatever you need to do. And however this all turns out, if nothing else, I hope this is a reminder that for better AND worse, none of us know what we’re doing out here, we’re just making it up as we go along and if you’re ever tempted to think a platform is proof of superior anything, please think of me and remember this mess.
